Step In

I close my eyes, hoping that I might see better

And when I’m lost in thought, it’s the only time I feel clever

My brain precedes me, but spirit precedes mind

Leaves me trying to find a way to cut in the line

Cause I’m in the back trying to catch up

With no soap and no water but still getting washed up

Washed away…

Puts me on my knees so while I’m there I steady pray

But never ask for things…but to just be okay

I want better, I want more

I know “okay” is only a hint of what my life has in store

So I’m looking through the window waiting for open ours

Don’t see a sign, could trying the door, guess I’m a coward

Will I become stronger? Or will I simply get devoured?

…

But a decision must be made before my final hour

That’s my only chance

I shouldn’t be against the wall if I know how to dance

Why look for a calculator?  I know how to do the math

Or is doubt the only consistency that I seem to have?

Well, I haven’t lasted this long being weak

I know my spirit spoke for me when my mind wouldn’t speak

Believe the Father organized it all, even though it wasn’t neat

And made me a king when my kingdom couldn’t be seen

But really, what does it all mean?

It means the throne is alone, and my greatness… is waiting on me

So step into your greatness, find out what you can be

Battle Ground

My shirt is torn up, I’m covered in sweat

Pretty beat up, but I’m not defeated yet

Kind of wondering, where is everybody else?

Forget that, no time, I got to fend for myself

Trying to catch my breath, between my heart pounding

Looking at my enemies, still seems I’m surrounded

Back of my shield reads “Faith”, I carry in my left hand

In the right my sword, remembering all the attacks I can

They watch me laughing, thinking I am growing weary

But no longer, will any of their tactics scare me

I close my eyes, take a deep breath and smile

…

That two seconds of peace, will keep me going for a while

Now I’m back, focused on my next target

Rush forward, with more determination than a Spartan

Take one down, there is two more at my side

Take one’s sword and make his partner’s belly collide

Blood in my eye, but there’s no time to blink

I could be gone, if I even let one eye wink

Length of the battle, hasn’t really occurred to me

To be honest, it really seems like eternity

I just know, that I can never ever quit

Always stand tall, I forgot how to sit

Even when I clear up the battle field a bit

I have to study my book of attacks quick

Cause one thing that I definitely have to admit

I been getting stronger ever since I found it

Body’s tired, but I can’t acknowledge anything weak

Enemies are always coming, so no time for sleep

I have to study because somehow I know I can win

I have to believe in that if I believe anything

Plus He told me, I won’t get anything I can’t handle

………

(distant voice) “Hunny are you still watching this channel?”

I must have drifted off, that battle ground was my mind

I guess, the demons that I was fighting were mine

Grab my book of attacks, and continue to read

I refuse to let those demons get the best of me

There is only one ending, well that I can see

Me standing tall, on the mountain of victory

I..to..Me

They say I am who I am, but really, what defines me?

I can tell you what I'm about, but you still don't know me

Like I get tired, but purpose seems to drive me

So even when I close my eyes insight always fills me

You hear what I am saying, but you still don't feel me

I hear all the doubt, but it can never move me

Even when I think negative, just take it all in to fuel me

‘Cause even though I live in this world God still lives inside me

So when I hit road blocks, temporary, they can’t deny me

Even if I slow down, nothing could ever stop me

‘Cause when me and I come together we realize its mI (my) destiny

So I try to harness the power to try to get the best of me

I am still working on it, but can’t wait to unleash the rest of me

But give glory to the Father ‘cause it is He who blesses me

The talents that I use are the gifts that He gave to me

And what I really need to do is stop always second guessing me

Just sometimes what I want don't line up with the desires of me

And it’s frustrating that I don't always listen to me

To be honest, I am still trying to fully find me

But no matter what I tell you, you will never find me

You see I through your eyes, but you "I"s could never see me

Though I look forward to the day that I become me

...Why Me

Why me?

What have I done?

I don’t deserve this

My strength is all gone

…

We feel the rain drops, wondering when it will be done

Not thinking for growth, it takes the rain, and the sun

Without the battle, no victory can be won

Without the down, what would we have to come up from

So focused on the negative

That’s how that we live

Programmed to put “up” or “in” after when we are told to give

Or maybe what we can give, is a helping hand

Fight through the storms, then turn back and help your brother man

We all want the beach until we feel the burning of the sand

We panic, and quickly change plans

Step into the crashing waves of the coast

Now let it coast

Just feel the breeze

The water is your hope, the sand is your dreams

So, while trying to live in your dreams you may risk getting burned

But keep your eyes on your hope, always somewhere to turn

Never give up your dreams, just find your balance

Until your dreams become reality, no longer imagined

Talk to God

Hey God how you doing? It’s been a minute since we talked

Yes it has my son, how about we go for a walk

Well first I want thank you for the blessing that you gave
And most importantly my life cause I am glad I was made
But what about all the struggle, the pain, and the strife
Was there really all a need to put that in my life?

Well struggle builds strength, and you might need more
I don’t want you to be too weak when it’s time to open the door

What you talking about? I’m already pretty strong, what door?

The door that might show you all you’re looking for
What’s that tattoo on your chest?

Well that what burns in my heart

Hmm… is that right?... let’s look at each part

Faith is there for my family, and for you

Faith in me huh.. I’m not sure if you do
I have told you when have problem give it to me
I have told you if you let it go, then you can be free
I do see you have faith in your heart
And you want to let things go, but can’t seem to part
It’s held on to the doubt created in your mind
And at those times the faith is very hard to find
So I try to take the load, but you still got a hold
I want to take it for you, but you have to let it go

I definitely understand what you mean
I try to let go, but it’s harder than it seems
How do I know which ones I should give to you?
There are some in my life for me to learn while I fight through

Well the ones you should give is the ones you can’t handle
I might take care of it all, or I might just dismantle
The issue to smaller sections so it’s more bearable
But for you some things in life are too big, or too critical
I guess that leads to the next word we got on there
I have a question, but to ask… do I dare?

I see what word and I know what you’re going to ask?
And honestly I trust a lot more than I did in my past

Well you said it burns in your heart

Maybe it’s more of what I really want

I didn't put in the world to be alone
Gave you a loving family, a warm hearted home


And I thank you for that, I really really do
But it’s like when they have problems I got to solve them too


I didn't tell you to fix things for everybody
That kind of load is too heavy for almost anybody

I guess that’s why I am stronger, to carry the load

How about you put some down and let me take control

Ok I see, well I will try, but it won’t be easy

If you need help, look in yourself and you will see me
I know your thoughts, but would like to hear your voice
Pray to me and remember you always have a choice
I’m your father I am with you, no matter where you roam
And if you’re ever lost look to me and I will bring you home

I appreciate the talk, it really did help
In the mean time, I will be working on myself
I have remember what I want and who I want to be
And put in the work until those traits are part of me
Every day I will get stronger, do what I got to do
Build my faith and trust, making it more true
Open up my heart, and get closer to you

Just stay on this path, you will get past anything I put you through

Caged In

Looking at his eyes through the wall of glass

Who could have known things would've got this bad

I try to crack a smile but, my heart's still sad

Damn,

Still seeing him is quite reflective

Told him that he’s limited

But he said that he’s protected

If he was loose the world wouldn’t respect it

So to remain caged seems to be the better method

His vision is not something others can see

Blind eyes, no lie he reflects me

Locked by the fear of my own creativity

And that man inside the mirror seems to be my only key

But it’s me that keeps him trapped

In confusion I hold him back

I let go, but then I relapse

Back with the block, shot, go run the lap

Full circle

But no more can I continue on this path

Drop all the chains set him free at last

Like Cooke said “a change gon come”

And I will be the greatest when it’s all said and done

I will be what I can be

Really what that is

Is being the best me

Book of Heart

Open my book and take look at what you see in there
A lot pain a little hope some confidence and fear
Some extra weight that I carry but the ones who left think I don't care
And that just makes it heavier, but the load only got one handle so I can't share
And if you dare to shine a light
You see those scars like tiger stripes
They still bleed but til the last drip drop I will still fight
To ease the pressure is the reason why I still write
And the thought that others feel pain is why I shine some light
Don't want you to feel like I felt growing up
Always on the edge of giving up
No one in the world that you can trust
Until my heavenly father came down
Said "it's about time we change it up"
...follow me...